Revisions, Revisions, Revisions…..And Pitch…….

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Believe it or not I really am enjoying the editing and revision part of this process.
Since this is the first book length story I have ever seen to completion it is a whole new play area for me.

I am finding that now that the story has an ending it is much easier to fill and tie ideas early on in the story that will help the ending feel much richer and stronger.

My biggest problem is still word count. I am only at about 48,000 words. But I am only ¼ of the way through my revision process and there are some areas that I know I have skimmed over in the story that I can really delve into and make them come to life.

Along with the process of editing and re-writing I am thinking about pitching the story.  I am still not sure where or who I am going to pitch it too….. Agent, Book Publishers, Small Press….. Not exactly sure the best route for me but I know that no matter whom or how I pitch it I will need something in my query that will make them want to read my book.
I have been working on the Query pitch as well as the elevator pitch (One sentence that describes the idea and essence of the story).  

The Elevator Pitch….. (One Sentence)

Jayson Abbott’s past and a rare disorder have forced him to lead the life of a self imposed loner, but when a new project pushes him out of his comfort zone he learns that letting people close is easier to do than he thought, but keeping them safe and alive may be the hardest job yet.

The 30 (to 45) Second Query – Dust Jacket Pitch…….

Jayson Abbott is a self imposed loner with a rare disorder who is a master at staying out of stressful situations. When a new project that could potentially bring a cure to Cancer falls in his lap he has no choice but to leave the stress free life he has created for himself and open himself up to the world again. Along the way he meets a boy Owen Spence who will change the way he feels about letting people close.  But keeping Owen safe and alive during the next few weeks may be the hardest job of all.

Owen Spence is a 12 year old boy who’s Cancer has just recently gone into remission. With his single mom working two jobs to keep a roof over their head and pay for his doctor’s bills Owen has a lot of free time. When he meets Jayson Abbott the two of them become friends and Owen is dying to help find a cure for Cancer. But keeping Jayson alive may be the hardest part of all.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my pitch.
Would it pique your interest?
If you read the dust jacket pitch would you want to buy the book?

Be honest. It is still a work in progress so any and all feedback is helpful.

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6 responses »

  1. I really, really like this line: Jayson Abbott is a self imposed loner with a rare disorder who is a master at staying out of stressful situations.

    It’s super strong and gripping IMO 🙂 Good luck!

  2. It looks like you’re off to a good start here. You have some grammatical “sprucing up” to do (“whose” instead of “who’s”; “their heads” instead of “their head” – to name two).

    Nice work!

    • Tony, thank you. I was just telling my husband today that I need a grammar refresher course!

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