August Blues



I’ve been feeling a bit sorry for myself these past few weeks. And it really shows in the lack of writing I have done here on my blog or in my personal writings. So when I went out to check the daily prompt today and it was August Blues I thought it was a perfect time to pick myself up and shake myself off.

As a child, I was always excited and ready for the new school year to start. I was an eager learner. I soaked in everything I could and wanted to know more and more. When I played school with my best friend, I was always the student. Would it surprise you to know that today she is a Teacher? She got a lot of practice with me!

This year my daughter started Pre-K and I watch her run inside her class with hardly a glance back at me. A quick kiss and wave goodbye and she is on her way. She too is an eager learner. I look forward to all she will learn along the way. I look forward to helping her figure out what she wants out of life.

As a child, teenager, young adult I always knew I wanted to be either a writer or a marine biologist. I didn’t follow either of my dreams. My parents worked very hard to make a living for us and I saw the struggle they had each month, week, day with money. I decided when I graduated high school that it was silly to follow those dreams and possibly be broke all my life, like my parents. So, I went to school for business. I got a job as an office assistant. I worked my way up in the telecommunications field and my job today is analyzing numbers, data, financial information. It pays me well. I work from home. I should have no complaints.

And yet, my childhood dreams still linger. Twenty-Six years have passed since I graduated high school (giving away my age here!) and I still want to be a writer, I would still love to immerse myself in the ocean and learn about life below sea level. So a few years ago, I began to seriously write again. But this agent search is killing my mojo…. Sure the rejects have been kind and courteous but they have been rejects, still.

I reminded myself this morning that I have a job that pays and treats me well. My writing is for me. If someday an agent wants to represent me and start me on a new path, great. But today, the words I put on the page are not for future fame, they are to quell the voices in my head. To bring to life the worlds of the characters that need me to put their story on the page. I will keep writing because that childhood dream lives on strong.

But as for my daughter, who is just starting on this journey. I want to make sure to point her in the direction of her dreams. Not, in the direction she thinks she needs to take to make a living. Don’t get me wrong, the path I chose is what put me where I am today and I am grateful. However, I want my daughter to follow her dreams, whatever they may be. Find a way to incorporate her love of her hobby into her job and make a life that she enjoys every little tiny piece of.

August Blues? Sure sometimes I am blue, wishing I had started back my writing sooner or never quit at all. But like I said at the beginning of this post, I am going to pick myself up and shake myself off and keep writing, for me.  



11 responses »

  1. Pingback: End of Summer… | Thriving Pessimist…

  2. Pingback: The 31st of August 2012 – Washington, DC | Forgotten Correspondence

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: August Blues | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

  4. Better late than never. I started writing again only a few years ago, and I’m nearly 50. (Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. 😉

    IWSG #179 until Alex culls the list again.

  5. I’m glad that you are feeling a little better! sometimes picking yourself up by the bootstraps just seems to help! I wish you the best of luck with it, and hope you wish me the same! I’m attempting to pull myself out of a rut, and hope your advice will give me an extra push to do so!

    • I definitely do! Sometimes it is hard to climb out of the rut, but you just have to keep trying. That is what I am doing! We can both do it!!!

  6. Hi Shelly. Thanks for recently visiting my blog. I can relate to the frustrations on your writing a synopsis, rejection letters, etc. on writing. I think we can all relate to those issues. You are what, about 44? That is the same age as my oldest girl who has 21 yr. old twins (a boy and girl). I have two younger grandchildren too, a little boy, 6, and little girl, almost 4, the children of my 36 yr. old daughter, who also had dreams of becoming a marine biologist, but didn’t make it that far, but I’m thankful both my girls have been great mothers to their children. You can only do your best at anything you try and do in life, and keep at what you love if it is writing and especially enjoying your little girl. She will treasure every moment spent with her mommy and daddy, I’m sure. My best to you in all of those things, and more.

    • Pretty close, I am 43. We took a long time to get our sweet bundle of joy, many of the kids I went to school with have kids in college and even grandkids my daughters age. It is crazy we started so late. But just like with the sweet daughter of mine, I am starting my writing late in life. Better late than never on both counts, right?

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