The Locked Box

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Today’s daily post prompt is an Audience of One – Simply to write a post or letter to the one person you wished was reading your blog right now. My contribution is below.

The Locked Box

I miss you.

I am a master at putting my feelings away in a little box and locking it up with an array of different locks and keys.

Why do I do this, you ask?

Because I miss you.

If I didn’t lock away my feelings, I might be reminded of the fact I will never get to hear your voice again.

I would know you weren’t going to show up for any holiday gatherings.

I would be forced to acknowledge the fact that your granddaughter only had a few short years with you.

I would be reminded that others I know, can still hug their mother close.

I would have to face the fact that I will never again feel your arms around me.

When I have news to share, I would know I couldn’t call you.

I would cry.

A lot.

So instead, I lock away those feelings. I keep them in a precious box that no one knows the combination to.

Because thinking of you is too painful.

Missing you tears me apart.

I feel raw and sad and lonely.

I love you, mom.

I miss you!

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5 responses »

  1. Pingback: a letter to my sneakers | Musings of a Random Mind

    • Yes, I let them out for a minute. But as soon as it was over and the tears were wiped away I had to lock them back up again. I would go mad with grief over my sweet momma if I didn’t!

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