Today’s daily post prompt is an Audience of One – Simply to write a post or letter to the one person you wished was reading your blog right now. My contribution is below.
The Locked Box
I miss you.
I am a master at putting my feelings away in a little box and locking it up with an array of different locks and keys.
Why do I do this, you ask?
Because I miss you.
If I didn’t lock away my feelings, I might be reminded of the fact I will never get to hear your voice again.
I would know you weren’t going to show up for any holiday gatherings.
I would be forced to acknowledge the fact that your granddaughter only had a few short years with you.
I would be reminded that others I know, can still hug their mother close.
I would have to face the fact that I will never again feel your arms around me.
When I have news to share, I would know I couldn’t call you.
I would cry.
So instead, I lock away those feelings. I keep them in a precious box that no one knows the combination to.
Because thinking of you is too painful.
Missing you tears me apart.
I feel raw and sad and lonely.
I love you, mom.
I miss you!