Category Archives: My History

To Walk in Your Shoes

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Today marks 1 year since my mother passed away.

I found a poem I wrote to her in 1999 – This would be 11 years before I had a child of my own and so it was so fitting that “I could only imagine”.

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To my mommy – To Walk in Your Shoes

I can only imagine how you must have felt to hold my tiny body in your arms the day I was born.

How you must have rejoiced when I spoke my first words and took my first steps.

Or how your heart must have broke the first time I got hurt.

I can only imagine how you must have sat and watched me walk into school that first day

How proud you must have been when I read my first words knowing that you instilled such a love of reading and writing.

I can only imagine how you must have felt to see me turning into a young woman.

To look into the eyes of what you still remember as a baby and see a little lady growing up before your eyes.

I can only imagine how your heart might have broke the first time mine was broken by a boy.

Or how you must have been filled with joy, love, and a even a touch of pain, to see me walk down the aisle on my wedding day.

Your little girl, all grown up.

I can only imagine how it feels, to be the most loving, giving, selfless, beautiful mother in the entire world.

I can only hope that one day I have the chance to be half the mother you have been to me.
I love you mommy, Happy Mother’s Day, your little girl, Shelly

(c) Shelly Tennyson Taylor 1999

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The First One Without Her

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Me and mom

Me and mom

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It will be the first Mother’s Day without my mom. She died last September 9th, the day after what would have been her and my father’s 45th wedding anniversary if he hadn’t passed in 2009.

On one hand it seems like she has only been gone a moment and on another it feels like she has been gone forever. I don’t think my 3 year old daughter remembers her that much anymore. It makes me sad to think that she won’t remember the endless amount of love that my mother had for her. I try to talk about her when I can but that is hard. Talking about her reminds me that I will never be able to put my arms around her and hold her close again. My heart breaks.

My mother was my very best friend. She was smart and funny and strong oh my was my mother strong, both physically and emotionally.

As I sit here I am trying to remember a “just” me and mom story and I am reminded of a time when I was just maybe 9 or 10 years old and mom had a gym membership.

Looking back can’t help but wonder why she even had the membership she was always so fit. I don’t remember her ever being overweight. But she had the membership and my dad used to drop us off at the gym and she and I would go in get changed and then go play racquetball.

We weren’t very good at it but we had fun playing, plus we got our exercise in.

Afterward we would go to this little bar inside the gym and get a fruity drink. It is pretty much what is called smoothies these days but back then in 80’s they were just icy fruit drinks.

When we were done daddy would be waiting for us outside in the station wagon. We always had a station wagon or a white van, lol!

I have no idea what those afternoon racquetball games were about. We didn’t go long. A few months was all maybe. But I loved that time with my mom. It was just us girls. And I had forgotten all about it until I sat here to write today.

Everyone says life is short but we never seem to realize it until we begin to lose the people closest to us.

Mommy in Heaven, I love you so much. I miss you every day. I dreamed about you a few days ago and in my dream I was hugging you. It felt so real that I didn’t want to wake up. Enjoy your Mother’s Day in Heaven and I will see you again one day!

Where is the Strangest Place you have ever lived?

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I started writing a story this morning about ghosts and my life and realized that I need to write my “life story” for that it was getting so long but what it did lead me to realize is that I have lived a lot of crazy places.

My parents were what you might call gypsies, meaning they traveled around and settled for moments at a time. They were subcontract painters for apartment complexes and they went where the work took them. Pretty much back and forth between Florida and Georgia.

We lived in houses and apartments all over those two states.  After my brother was born, before he could even walk we lived on a houseboat on Lake Allatoona in Acworth, GA.

Front of our houseboat. See baby brothers crib out on deck!

Front of our houseboat. See baby brothers crib out on deck!

We lived there for less than a year I believe. The deciding factor in us moving off the houseboat was when my mother was holding my baby brother and stepping off the boat onto the dock. She didn’t make it and into the winter lake water she and my brother went. My mother was loaded down with leather boots, a leather coat and a purse that weighed as much as small airplane, all that and my brother. I remember watching my brother’s head bob up and down in the water. Being under the water more than he was above the water and being afraid that I had lost them both. I was barely 7 years at the time and there was nothing I could do to save them except scream for help. My father was already at the end of the dock and unable to hear my screams. Luckily some of our neighbors heard my cries and came to the rescue of my mother and brother. Needless to say we moved off the boat very shortly after that incident.

You might think that was the strangest place I lived but it isn’t really. My dad bought some land and we moved a small trailer onto it while we were building our house. We lived in that trailer with phone on a tree outside. It was the early 80’s so the only people with cell phones were CIA and FBI!

The trailer was way too small for the 4 of us so we moved into the house we were building when it only had a slab, outside walls and electricity.

The outside of the house!

The outside of the house!

It didn’t even have indoor plumbing at the time we had to go to an outhouse that was set up to use the potty for a few months. My absolute most favorite birthday gift I ever received was on my 12th birthday. We had been living in the house we were building a while now and still the only room that had inside walls was the bathroom.

Our Kitchen and Dining Room at the time!

Our Kitchen and Dining Room at the time!

I remember my parents telling us we couldn’t go upstairs because the builders were working and it was very dangerous. On my 12th birthday I was taken upstairs past the rooms with only studs for walls, to a door. Besides the bathroom door downstairs it was the only door in our house.

When the door was opened I walked into a fully finished and fully furnished bedroom. I had a canopy bed and all my furniture. I had decorations and walls that were painted. I had a walk in closet full of new clothes. I had carpet and a window. I even had a telephone by my bed.

Me in the floor of my finished bedroom with Carpet... If you look behind me you can see through the door of my room the hallway was still only wood planks!

Me in the floor of my finished bedroom with Carpet… If you look behind me you can see through the door of my room the hallway was still only wood planks!

Outside the room was an unfinished house with only studs for walls but inside the room you would never know it. It was by far the absolute best gift I could have ever been given at 12 years old!

So, a houseboat, a trailer with a phone on a tree, and house with no walls, those are the 3 strangest places I have ever lived.
What about you?