Tag Archives: Fears

IWSG November NaNoWriMo Edition

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On the first Wednesday of each month, writer’s across the globe get a chance to reach out to our own little support group.InsecureWritersSupportGroup
The Insecure Writer’s Support Group was created by Alex Cavanaugh so that writers would have a place to express the problems they are facing with their writer, fears, concerns, you name it, without the fear of contempt.

For me the past few months this has been done on the first Thursday of the month. I am not sure if it because of lack of planning, busy Wednesday’s, or simply something deep inside that unwittingly is trying to buck the system. In any event the time has come for me to share:

For me the month of November I have decided to join the other thousands of writers who are taking a chance on NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writers Month) – Basically it is taking the month of November to write that novel. You know the one where you say “Someday, I am going to write a book.” Well the month of November is someday!

For me I wrote and finished my first ever book earlier this year and it has been long days and nights of editing ever since. I am still in the depths of editing that piece and personally needed a break.
I had actually forgotten all about NaNoWriMo, until I saw a Facebook post on November 1st.
I just went “click” what a perfect time to step away from the one I am editing and see, just see, if I can write another novel this year. And this one in 30 days no less.

That same day I saw a post one of my friends wrote about her old college buddies getting together to go back to a beach house they had visited one time. I had the spark and in a few hours I had laid out the thought behind “The House on Lake Marion.” – That is the novel I am writing this month.

So, you are probably all saying…”What is there to be afraid of? You finished a novel this year already and now you are shooting for #2.”

HOLY CRAP! I am shooting for #2 – Seriously, it is like going from 0-100 in a race car.

Plus, for this NaNoWriMo – I need to average 1,667 words a day to make the 50K word deadline by the end of November.

So far, that has been okay, by the end of day six (yesterday) I was at 10,699 words – the goal was 10K so I am ahead of schedule a bit.

Here is the problem. – A lot of that was introduction of my characters. There are 10 – again wow! I am fearful that I won’t be able to give them all the voice I want them to have, but they are each critical to the outcome of the story.

I have introduced them, and I know how this week at the lake house is going to end. But now, starting on word 10,700, I have to begin to get them to that ending. That part is freaking me out. I know the outcome but I am not sure how they arrive there.

When I don’t know what is going to happen or how a character is going to get from point A to point B, I write. Sometimes what I write is word vomit that needs tossed in the trash, but sometimes my subconscious has already decided what is going to happen and how my characters are going to arrive at the end point. I just have to stop “trying to figure it out.” And set down and write.

But the real struggle of trying to write a 50K word novel in a month is not just the sheer volume of words that need to be written each day. It is the “paying” job that still has to be done, the toddler who still has to have mommy time, the husband who still has to have wifey time, the house that needs cleaned, the laundry that needs washed.

I have survived and made it through the first 6 days – Only 24 more just like it to go!
Well – it is too bad I can’t count this blog post as part of my 1,667 words!

I am off to get some real work done!

See ya later Wordies!

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Irrational Fears!

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I don’t know about you but every time I get one of those Children’s Life Insurance letters in the mail it feels like a brick landed in my stomach.
I know we are supposed to be prepared and make smart decisions but I can’t bring myself to open the envelope. If something happened to my sweet baby girl I wouldn’t need life insurance I would need an institution.

I mean I still cut her sandwiches up in little pieces….Now give me some credit I did try to give her larger pieces a few times that she could pick up and bite off but she likes the smaller bite size pieces better. I do nick her blueberries before I give them to her and she still hasn’t had a raisin or a peanut. I know she has teeth but choking freaks me out!

And as of yet she has not slept away from home once or rode in a car driven by anyone else but hubby and myself. I know she is going to have to do these things one day but I get fearful just thinking about them.

I guess because we tried so long to have a child and finally she is here. I want to protect her with every ounce of my being. I love my husband we have been married for 20 years and I would be beyond devastated if something happened to him. But my child who came from my body I would be completely and utterly lost.

I know the day is going to come when she eats a whole blueberry without me nicking it first but until then I just want to hold her close and keep her safe!